driving west down 107th ave

towards technicare to deliver a lens

that abby was supposed to use to shoot

a recording session that never happened

i used to drive this way with jordan

on our way to a meeting on 124th street

both of us trying to keep from the drink

when i made eye contact with him 

he would tilt his head back

and widen his eyes as if he was surprised

he posted photos of his dog online with only the description

'woof'

he loved soccer

he relapsed and never made it back

i cried that summer listening to ron hynes sing godspeed

while traveling around in my car

'god only knows what takes a petal from the rose

what makes the dark rivers overflow

what makes a lifetime come and go'

sometimes i wonder if jordan looks down

hoping to make eye contact

or wondering how music is going

or why i am driving so slow

'forgive a sweet soul a desperate deed

his was a prison and he was freed

godspeed, godspeed'