happy birthday connor

without mcdavid 

the oilers would be mess 

i mean they still are a mess 

but without hockey’s prince of peace they would be 

an even bigger mess 

a bunch of tires on fire 

today is the messiah’s birthday 

i celebrate by laying in bed wearing two pairs of pants drinking coffee while watching esa tikkanen highlights on youtube 

nothing really out of the ordinary 

aside from the tickling emotional sensation that one feels 

on the birth of a good shepherd 

sent to relieve oilers fans of the managerial sins of 

lowetambellinimctavishchiarelli 

when down such a rabbit hole of jubilant observation 

i often forget to feed myself 

maybe i’ll slip on 

a third pair of pants 

and walk to get a donair 

i have an important 

floor hockey game tonight 

and i must be well stocked on 

pitameatpickleonionsauce 

in order to optimize my talents 

as a generational centreperson 

for the top team in the recreational co-ed division of the edmonton sport and social club 

once i was warming up 

with stick and ball 

when a young child 

of an opponent came up to me 

and asked, ‘are you connor?’ 

to which i responded, ‘no’ 

and then he scurried away 

and i continued to make poetry 

with shaft and blade 

he then came back 

and said, ‘i just have to make sure, 

are you sure you’re not connor?’ 

and i said, ‘yes, i am sure’ 

he scurried away again 

and left me wondering if it was my body composition that peaked the young child’s interest 

or if it was my skills that reminded 

him of our hockey hero 

and now as i reflect today 

i give thanks to the 

rink boards and flavors 

of our connor 

who hallowed be thy game 

of mysticism and ice 

somehow brought two souls together at the boyle street plaza 

months and months ago 

happy birthday connor 

may you forever fly within our hearts 

and may you stay forever handsome

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